There are several ways we ‘show up’ in the various roles we play i.e.
- preparing breakfast for the kids, preparing breakfast for ourselves
- as a care giver, preparing the patient to meet their day
- arriving at work
- attending meetings
- having conversations with others
- giving instructions, following instructions
And the list is endless…
But what does it really mean to ‘show up”!
This question has been raised in subtle ways, during conversations I’ve had while coaching and counselling clients, across different professions at various levels within their organisation.
Typically, feelings of frustration about the ‘significant other’ are at the core of most problems, resulting in comments such as:
- “I’ve tried so hard to assist him but he just does not get it”
- “She was given clear instructions and yet she stuffed up”
- “I did explain to the team what I clearly expect from them, but somehow they produce something different”
- “I’ve been in this business for a long time, so I know what’s best for my team”
And so the blame game continues, because naturally the problem is always out there…or perhaps not! “So what’s missing?” I ask earnestly. “I’ve got no idea; I’ve done everything I possibly can.” he responds with conviction.
Here are some questions I pose to my client with the view to turn the focus within:
- Who have you brought into room, into the conversation, into the interaction?
- Who are you interacting with?
- Whose needs are being met?
- Where is your focus?
- Are you listening to what’s being said by the other person/s
- Are you picking up on what’s not being said?
- What’s really transpiring in the here and now?
“People don’t realise that NOW is all there ever is; there is no past or future, except as a memory or anticipation in your mind” (Eckhart Tolle)